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I have been friends for over two decades, who has faced and conquered numerous obstacles, her resilience is commendable. But, she's constantly blindsided by others. Her partner left her, which came as a massive blow. A lot of close acquaintances disappeared then, since they had been drawn to the spouse. She was stunned by her deeply. She made increased attention in our friendship, probably realised better the meaning of companionship.

A Recurring Theme of Disappearance

Over the years, several of her friends have disappeared without her being sure why. Her last employer suddenly changed toward her, even though she had been highly competent, and she left without knowing why things shifted.

Current Dynamics

Lately, we have each retired leading to more time together, but I am finding my position in the relationship is as the audience. I open subjects but she shifts the talk toward what interests her. Politically, she holds firm beliefs. I try to recommend factchecking and alternate views.

She's been arranging a trip to a nation I know well on several occasions even called home for some time. I tried to offer insights, however, my input met with resistance. She essentially only wanted my agreement with her plans. I've just ended 30 days in that country she hopes to catch up, yet I'm reluctant.

Evaluating the Situation

I don't want to act as a friend that walks away abruptly, yet I doubt she'll truly grasp the impact of her behaviour on my confidence. Right now, I am in pulling back. How should I proceed?

Potential Solutions

It's possible to cut and run, however, that approach is not often a smooth outcome we imagine. Yet having a direct talk with the goal of a solution takes courage and willingness for each of you.

Therapists recommend trying a practical approach to handling disagreements:

"The first step involves describing what typically happens in your conversations. It should be based on facts like what a recording device would replay. Next is to tell her how it affects you emotionally. Ideally, there's no argument about this. Your feelings are your feelings, of course. The third step involves requesting how you are both can shift the interaction between you."

Keep in mind she too has a point of view, thus requiring you to be prepared to acknowledge it. An approach that works involves stating to the other person:

"Now you talk and I'm going to remain silent for 30 minutes."

It's wildly impactful for promoting mutual respect.

Key Takeaways

Your friend could ignore everything, for those who cling to a “survival narrative”: they have a version regarding their experiences they're unable to abandon as it feels essential depends upon it being the only thing familiar to them. It's tough as there is no easy route with these people, mere obstacles. Yet she could at first react this way before reflecting on your words. And even if you never reach a fix, it provides satisfaction that you've been truthful.